April in Paris & Monaco

A few times now friends have tried to set me straight on this one thing that apparently I say a lot. I will start a story with, 'the most random thing happened to me, or you're not going to believe what happened to me!' By the end they say, 'you realize it's not really random when things like this happen all the time.' That may be true, but I like to think that if I keep being open and grateful for the opportunities that fall in my lap, that they'll keep coming.

This leads me to my trip to France.

I became friends with a guy who lives in Monaco, but is in Dallas usually once a month. A few lunches, meeting friends, and months later... I decided I knew him well enough to take him up on his offer to visit him in Monaco.

So, I met my girlfriend Kate at the airport in Paris. 3 different trains and countless stairs later, we arrived at our airbnb on a cute little pedestrian street in the 7th district, near the Eiffel Tower.  

One of the most amusing parts of the whole trip (for me) was watching Kate's face as we exited a train and hauled our luggage down stairs only to round a corner to more stairs going up.  See, we lovingly nicknamed Kates bags her 'house'. She spent 2 weeks at home in Poland prior, & had an over 50 lb giant luggage as well as a duffle bag full of stuff. Paris's train/subway system IS NOT handicap friendly, and there wasn't a single elevator throughout the entire changing 3 trains process. It made for cursing countless stairs, especially when realized we were in a 4th floor apartment with no elevator, & lots of giggles. We spent our first day roaming around the Eiffel Tower, which is where we met the 2 guys who became our tour guides for the afternoon. They were born and raised in Paris (we think), and barely spoke any english. It was highly entertaining. They led us to the Arc de Triumph and to Champs-Elysees, and finally to have a wine picnic in the park at the Eiffel tower. Super romantic, right? I really should leave it at that, but not being able to have conversation past a sentence was beginning to bore Kate and I, (it didn't seem to bother them in the slightest.) And one may or may not have had a terrible unibrow.  Paris is very romantic, but this... was not.  We still a great afternoon trying to learn french from these new Frenchman who were carrying our grocery bags around for us.

The next day... We climbed the freaking Eiffel Tower by stairs. Not to the very top, but definitely high enough.

 We did a river boat that takes you to all the major attractions and started our tourist track at the oldest church in Paris. We were actually looking for the oldest cafe in Paris for some coffee (priorities), & stumbled upon Saint-Germain-des-Pres church that dates from 542. Yes, that's 542, there is no 1 before it. It was beautiful and raw and not tourist filled. After that we decided to head to THE cathedral, Notre Dame. Along with the Eiffel Tower, it truly lived up to expectations. I will admit to being a dork, and to getting really excited about exploring and learning about the history of places, but I think pretty much anyone who enters the doors of Notre Dame gets their socks knocked off. The grandeur of it all, and the detail behind every little stained glass piece is amazing. The Gothic inspired renovations were intriguingly bizarre. I couldn't stop staring up when we were outside walking around. 

Next we got a little lost on purpose wandering in the direction of the Louvre. I knew in advance how much there is to see inside and how little time we had. It's a place I would love to return and spend some quality time in.

We arrived back at our apartment and connected to WiFi to find a message from my friend asking if we saw our flight was cancelled. I thought he was kidding. I haven't purchased a ticket for a flight in almost 4 years. Tell me what the odds are that flight would get cancelled?! But after an hour facetiming with my friend who was talking to EasyJet on the phone for us, we ended up buying tickets on the train. We ate a baguette and cheese we had purchased for an appetizer, garretts popcorn, and cake Kate brought from Poland for dinner that night. But we were set for the train the next morning.

The apartment we rented was nothing special or nice, but it was all we needed in a nice safe location. Soooo, when the bed started making funny noises we weren't too surprised. When we got into bed (very gingerly) and after a few minutes it collapsed, we were definitely surprised.  Turns out Ikea beds that have tape and nails to hold the middle (and only) support together and 2 large girls don't mix. We took the mattress off and slept like babies on the floor.

My eyes were glued out the window the entire train ride through France. The little villages scattered throughout the hills and farmland in the beginning gradually turned into mountains and then into the coastline and Mediterranean Sea. Picturesque doesn't do it justice.  My friend picked us up at the train station and welcomed us to his place with a glass of wine. It wasn't hard to settle into his home, because it was amazinnnng. The penthouse apartment had a patio as big as the apartment, and it overlooked the Mediterranean and a little beach below, and the living room wall was doors that opened all the way to that view and crisp ocean air.  Nick was an amazing host and really made us feel comfortable. He put up with 2 girls taking over his apartment and bed for a few days and still seemed to like us at the end.

We really were able to live like locals, which is exactly how I like to travel. We met some of his friends who were all a lot of fun, & warm and welcoming. I won't bore you with all of the daily details, but we ate some great food, danced a night away at a club with ladies night & free champagne, experienced Hotel De Paris' 'American Bar,' walked along the coast to get to a beach restaurant, and ate a crap ton of croissants & baguettes & cheese.

Monte-Carlo casino behind us, and Hotel de Paris to the right.

Kate and I also did the tourist stuff in Monte Carlo. They were setting up for the Grand Prix which was pretty cool. The grandstands and the railing along the streets they put up is all redone every year. And obviously takes a lot of time.  We saw the yachts at the port, and walked up to Princes palace. We saw the changing of the guards, and enjoyed a bottle of our favorite, Rose, outside a cafe while we people watched. 

the view of Monte-Carlo from the walk to the Palace

 

One of my favorite 'tourist' activities that we did was just walked up to a medieval village that was behind Nicks condo. A 20 minute walk and suddenly we were taken back centuries. The fortress at the top was built in the 10th century. We arrived too late to tour it, but we're able to walk through the little village and see the people who actually lived there getting home from work or cooking dinner. Cobblestone streets, archways built into 4 story high apartments, and side alleys and stairs everywhere. It was truly charming, and the view was outstanding.

The reason we were late to the fortress was one of those things I would say, 'the most random thing happened' about. We walked and had our moning coffee and Pain au chocolate (I figured out our last morning that's what a chocolate filled croissant is actually called), & went back to condo to get ready to walk up to the village. When we got wifi, we saw a message from Nick saying that his friend that we had met the previous night has 2 box tickets to the Rolex men's tennis championship that was in Monte carlo. Ummmm... we knew it was in town, and had watched Nadal on the practice court on our walk to breakfast, but didn't expect to go. Obviously we said yes, and went on our merry way to watch a couple of tennis matches from our box seats. My first professional tennis match was pretty epic.

The reputation about french people being rude or unhelpful towards Americans was completely untrue on our trip. The smallest girl in the train station helped Kate carry her 'house' up the stairs, & if we looked lost someone would ask if we needed help. I found people friendly in general. I think it's safe to say that Kate and myself are friendly people, and I think greeting someone with a smile goes a long way before you ask for help. I really enjoyed France, Monaco, and the people.

The one circumstance where we did not exactly enjoy an interaction with the locals was when we were pulled over by the French police. Apparently they can do that without cause, and then ask for everyone in the cars ID. Well, Kate had juuuust asked if we needed an ID before we left the house and was told no. So, the officer asks for my ID, I have my passport as well as my drivers license because I'm paranoid. He then goes to the back seat and asks for Kates who informed him she doesn't have it. He was confused and asked again. Again Kate said, I do not have any identification on me. He asks again and again and finally got a reply of, 'I ONLY HAVE MY PHONE, CASH, AND MY LIPSTICK,' as she holds up her clutch for the officer to see. So he proceeds to take her information, and doesn't understand what a flight attendant is.  He was looking at us funny and writes down that she is a stewardess.  After they let us go, Nick is laughing and tells us that prostitution is legal in Monaco and most of the prostitutes are Eastern European. The officer probably thought my friend who was only carrying her phone, cash, and lipstick, was a prostitute. I died. It was the running joke of the rest of the trip, and still makes me laugh.

The trip was amazing & France and Monaco were beautiful. I'm beyond thankful for randomness, and the opportunity to spend time with a friend who went above and beyond as a host.

... and for my polish prostitute friend.  Til next time France!

4 days in Cartagena, Colombia

Cartagena, Colombia is a destination that (i feel) is extremely overlooked.

It's a triple threat... The history of the city basically slaps you in the face, islands with beautiful white sand beaches & turquoise water are a speed boat ride away, and the culture/ food is worth experiencing. Obviously those are all fabulous qualities, but perhaps Cartagenas biggest selling point for me was that it's cheap. The Dollar goes a lonnnng way down there.

Like, I did 4 full days and 3 nights for $400. That's everything. Including a $15 coffee mug I just had to have at the airport on the way out, an unnecessary soapy water massage on the beach, and a romantic carriage ride with my bestie. Here is everything my friend Kate and I did for $400... 

Keep in mind I fly for an airline. So, my roundtrip ticket was $70. I know that's usually the biggest expense when vacationing. We stayed at a simple bed & breakfast, Casa Abril II, that was inside the walled city.  The 'walled city' is the protected 'city' by a fortress built in the 1500s. If you're not getting it, it is completely surrounded by walls. The city has obviously been restored, but maintains a very colonial charm. The colors of the buildings contrasting the flowers/balconies/streets is great! There is plenty to do inside too, and it's also quite tourist friendly and seemly safe. People should know by now, Colombia isn't what it used to be.  But our little B&B (like most in the area) was an old colonial house turned hotel. The ones we saw typically have an open courtyard, and lots of character! I travel on a budget and don't need any luxuries in my hotels, but for $50 a night our room was cute & clean with exposed brick and a view onto the street and courtyard, had working a/c, a fridge, and hot water. All things that aren't guaranteed when traveling in Central and South America and not staying in hotel chains or pricey accommodations. 

Our hotel also booked our excursions for us. Our 2nd day in town we wanted to go to the beach. That was the main point of Kate and I even taking the trip. These anti-winter girls needed a beach and a tan! So we loaded up on a little speedboat to take the hour ride to the island of Baru and to Playa Blanca. It was a nice peaceful ride. Along the way we made friends with a couple of Canadians & decided to all sit together so we could keep an eye on each others stuff (see mom, I am a smart traveler). The island is completely isolated from civilization. There are no hotel visible on the beach, only hostels that are literally palm branch topped huts on stilts, but when you push back your mosquito net you wake up with this view every morning. 

 We enjoyed our beach day immensely, not even caring that our Pina coladas we brought (just in case we couldn't buy them there of course) were warm because ice was scarce.  The Pina coladas might explain why we gave into the vendors walking up and down the beach bothering us. However, $6 for a 15 min back massage on the beach is totally worth it. I would have paid double just for witnessing Kate get her head smashed by the large masseuse ladies boobs. 

The island was beautiful, and it was and amazing day in paradise! The ride home is where things took a turn. We realized the sea was much rougher when the waves were rocking the boat so badly on the shore that we had to be picked up and put in the little speedboat by the men working on it. Latin men are small, Kate and I are not. That part was scary enough, but I was pretty sure we were going to capsize on the monster waves on the ride back. My arm was hooked through Kates, she was wrapped around one of my legs, and we (mainly she) squealed everytime the nose of the boat went up really high, knowing it would have to go back down. The first row was a scary and very wet place to be seated. We would literally be lifted off of our little bench of a seat and then hit hard. No kidding, I needed a doughnut the next day to sit on. Chalk it up to a funny experience and a memory I won't soon forget. 

That evening we tried to cover up our sunburns and went to our favorite patio spot for the first time. The blue bar that had 2 for 1's on the best mojito everrrrr, and a people watching table on the street across from San Diego Plaza.  We made friends with a girl from Siberia, another who had just spent 3 months volunteering in Cusco, Peru, and most importantly the waiters of the place. We tried to find something to get into that night after dinner, but didn't have any luck.  

The mud volcano. Apparently this isn't a well known place for locals, but I saw it online and just HAD to go. We booked a trip, boarded a big greyhound style bus, and headed to the country.

That's where the big hill they call a volcano was. But whatever you want to call it, the setting was nice with a large lake and hills behind it. This volcano has a grey mud that runs 200 meters deep in the crater. So you climb up the volcano/hill and wait to climb down a ladder into the mud with 10 other people give or take. It's a very strange feeling to float in something the consistency of mud. After we floated on our back and got a 10 min massage for 3000 pesos (like $1.20), you just kinda enjoy the mud and each others company for another 10 min.

They tell you to point your toes down & stand up while floating. Basically, we were rolling all over each other. We being myself, Kate, & Mak (one of our new Canadian friends).  After you marinate in the warm mud for a while you have to climb out. You climb out on a ladder as well. Only this ladder is covered in slick, wet mud. So are the steps to get off the volcano. I'm happy to report there were no casualties the day we went.



I dont know the last time someone gave you a bath, but I would imagine it's probably a fond memory. Mine, not so much. After you get down from the stairs, the middle aged women come grab your hand and take you into the lake. They have a cup and they wash off the mud that is now stuck to you.  I was totally cool with her running her hands through my hair and wiping off my arms and back. You actually have to rub off the mud, it doesnt just rinse. I guess I should have been grateful when the lady stuck her hand halfway in my bikini top to make sure I was mud free? This middle age Colombian woman who was missing teeth got to 2nd base.  Then she said, in english, 'nakie.' I look up, 'hmmm??' Yea, she signaled for me to take off my bikini bottoms right there in 3 ft of lake water with a bunch of strangers around. Mak had just gone through the same thing, & she had just felt me up, so i figured what the heck and handed this lady my bikini bottoms to wash out.

Kate opted to bathe herself. I would say it was definitely the best decision, except she forgot that she had untied the back of her top, stood up, and flashed a few Colombian women. Obviously,  I immediately died laughing.

We got back, scrubbed in the shower, and headed out to explore the city and to the Castillo San Felipe de Barajas.

This is a monstrous fortress sitting up on a hill designed to protect the city from pirates and other countries. It was built in the 1500s. They gradually added onto the fort, which was under attack numerous times throughout its history.  We were dorks and did the audio tour of it. I would definitely recommend anyone who visits to tour it!

Our last night! We went to have mojitos, and got 2 for 1s again since we befriended the entire restaurant the previous day. We giggled with our Canadians for a while, went to eat dinner, and then realized we only had enough pesos for 1 drink each to close out our last night. There's a really nice bar on top of the actual wall that overlooks the water. We wanted to spend our last pesos there. That's where we met Mr. Bogota, and then Christian & Andres again. I say again because we met them on scooters on the way and made them race each other (blame it on the mojitos), but they obliged. Apparently it was absolutely unacceptable that we hadn't tried the drink of Colombia yet. Which is a clear liquor that tastes like liquorice that you shoot. No mixing, just shots.

After they buy a bottle of that for the table, it became absolutely unacceptable that we hadn't gone salsa dancing while we were there. So, we walked to a spot they knew, and danced til 4 am. Let me rephrase... Kate, who was apparently made to be dance partners with Mr. Bogota, danced til 4 am. I was passed off every other song between the 2 other friends, and was soo done by 2. This white girl can booty dance, shake my rump, twerk, whatever you want to call it... but I need either a lot of alcohol or a lot of focus for Latin dancing. Kate had it tho. Those hips went to town.

That evening should have ran up the cost of the trip some, but who are we to turn down an authentic night out :). But for real, a special thanks to the nice guys for treating us poor (in pesos) ladies...

It helps if you're a female and a flight attendant. But, see what all you can do for $400?!?!

Belize: Mayan Ruins, Jungles, Caves, and Sharks.

If you have ever seen the movie 'Eat, Pray, Love' with Julia Roberts, you know the wise man from Bali, Kitut.

Well I have one of those now. He is a 5'2ish Guatemalan with 2 missing front teeth, and a balding head. This 'wise man' turns 60 in June and is married to a pretty 18 year old with a 5 month old baby. Which sounds creepy, but he wasn't... just that intriguing of a man. He likes to read and believes in natural medicine from his backyard, the jungle. He swears that's how Mayan men have babies up to the age of 80. He's not rich, so clearly he's doing something right. Well my Kitut goes by the name of Luis, and he said that our energy would stay with each other for 15 days and then we would most likely forget about each other. I feel the need to document our trip to Belize before the amazing energy I felt is gone.

It was such a random trip now that i am looking back... Things fell in line perfectly. Kitut said, 'we were all together for a reason that day, that we 4 girls went on that trip... Out of all the places in the world... For a reason.' I believe it.

The side story:

Getting there was fairly easy... We took united from Fort Lauderdale to Houston on down to Belize City. We immediately left Belize city, as I would recommend anyone do. Caught the 2 hr water taxi ride to San Pedro on Ambergris Caye. We rode alongside the 2nd largest barrier reef in the world nearly the whole ride. That night before dinner, we had talked to our hotel about setting up a sailboat tour the next day. They couldn't find any company's running that specific catamaran tour. So walking to dinner, along the beach (which Is a busy 'road' on the island... There are only 3 roads to begin with), I randomly ask Coral if we should stop in this one tour guide store (after passing many) and see about the sailboat. After she agreed, it turns out a lady was being told her families sailboat trip was cancelled because they didn't have enough ppl to go. It was the exact excursion we were wanting to do. Clearly that couldn't have worked out any better, and we went to dinner with set plans for the next day. Dinner was the best lobster ceviche I've ever had. The random guy sending free drinks my way didn't hurt either.

The main event:

Belize is known for its diving and snorkeling. I understand why. We snorkeled the Hol Chan Marine Reserve first, and saw the most vibrantly colored fish I've ever seen. Sea turtles, spotted sting rays, and multiple schools of fish were literally at our fingertips. Prettttttty cool. Then we get back on the boat, and head to Shark Ray alley. I read this about the area before we went-This area came to be because fishermen used to clean their fish and drop the errr... leftovers into this one specific area on their way back to the dock. The nurse sharks and sting rays are used to boats and humans because of it. Regardless how used to humans they may be, I was still in awe when our guide swam down to the ocean floor and grabbed a 6' shark, turned it over, and started rubbing its belly like a baby. I figured that is a once in a lifetime kind of opportunity, so I accepted the shark when he passed it off to me. Literally just like a baby. Well that was the 2nd attempt. The first attempt, apparently I didn't hold it right and it started squirming and flopping around before it swam off. I peed my pants a little. But, one of the coolest things I can say I've done. In case it ever comes in handy... Sharks feel like sandpaper, and apparently like to be rubbed under their fin. FYI.

Back on the sailboat, the unlimited rum punch and Belikin beer started flowing. We cruised over to Caye Caulker... The sister island of Ambergris Caye. There are no cars on this island. And just one sand road. That's an awesome feeling. Knowing there is no where to go and no quick way to get there. Back on the sailboat we snorkeled a shipwreck and then headed home in 100% relaxation mode watching the sun set. A day on a sailboat with our own personal server would have been an awesome day. Throw in everything else, we were happy girls when we headed to dinner that night.

Side story:

After dinner we wanted ice cream. We knew we wanted to leave early the next morning to head inland, but really had no plans and weren't sure if we were gonna have to take the public bus (also referred to a the chicken coup), or what. So, when a man struck up convo and then ended up having a tour guide company, we were curious what he could do for us. We ended up getting our transportation and ATM cave excursion for the price of just the ATM tour. Saving each of us around $100. That poor guy didn't stand a chance... He set up everything for us at 10pm, and then had bfast ready for us at 6am. Fast forward through the water taxi ride, a van that broke down, and a 2 hr trip inland.

The main event:

Google ATM (actun tunichil macal). Seriously. It's a cave literally in the middle of the jungle. How a hunter stumbled upon it years ago, I have no idea. Why someone decided to walk/swim/climb deep into it, I don't know either. Miles into this cave there are skeletal remains, pots, and alters set up by the Mayans who lived over 1,000-1,500 years ago. The most amazing part (aside from the actual beauty of the cave itself), is that people had to climb through this cave with these giant pots with nothing but a flame to see by. Drop the flame in the water... you're dead. Us doing it with a headlamp on was not an easy task. We had to swim at points, were squeezing through narrow passageways, climbed up basically a cliff, and thennnnn an aluminum ladder to get to the 'Grand Room' and to the skeleton of the 'crystal maiden'. She was believed to be royalty and sacrificed to the gods, most likely the rain god. The remains are calcified to the ground in perfect skeletal form. Insane to think about people being in that same spot so many years ago... How they arrived there with just a flame, i really will never understand. Again, i can say its one of the coolest things I've ever done.... And probably will ever do. I'm thankful we had the chance, we were told it probably won't be open to the public for too many more years.

Side story: Carlos the caveman deserves a shout out. This man is one of the few licensed guides who can lead this tour, and he knows his stuff. First off, walking through the jungle, he can point out an entire Walgreens pharmacy worth of plants you can use. He led the way with a machete and smile. He learned the jungle from his grandfather, and he literally grew up there. He calls it his office, Home Depot, and Walgreens. Carlos is one of the few people we met who has been on an airplane before, & he told a great story about getting lost in Houston's airport. I can't imagine a caveman making his way through the hustle and bustle of an international airport. He's pretty well known too. He was on the discovery channel for an episode called The Bone Detective, and I doubt he would ever admit it, but seems to be the sot after man to lead archeologists etc in the cave, and he even teaches jungle survival to militaries. And yet to us, he was the always smiling guy who would tell us to 'follow our heart,' and leave us (so we thought) in the cave only to reappear around the next turn, or instruct us to turn off our headlamp and 'keep right along the wall... But watch out for the sharp rock.' Which seems a bit mean now that I think about it, but certainly added to the adventure. We loved it, and him. On the way to the cave, he turned off the dirt road to go mudding through the orange grove letting us pick the best oranges straight from the tree, & stopped to let coral and I steal a license plate tag stuck to a tree limb. He also took us to a local place for dinner after our tour. That's where we were introduced to Eddie, his brother. Real brother, not a 'cave brother' which is how he referred to every other cave guide we saw.

Main event:
Eddie agreed to give us a tour of Xunantinich, the ruins nearby the town of San Ignacio. Turns out, they grew up and still live basically across the street from the site, and Eddie has either worked on excavating or been giving tours for 20 years. Soooo, we lucked out. Again. Even better... They have 5 sisters, so he was an excellent photographer in addition to being very informative and answering our questions. Xunantinich was a major city in the classic period of the Mayan rule. 500-900 AD, give or take. I can't remember exactly. The huge temples and area excavated were mainly built for royalty. Basically, we toured a courtyard where the peasants would gather for events and ceremonies, and the living quarters for the royalty and their family. We learned about the alters they would set up with the statue of a god behind it. The alter being there for sacrifices to the specific god. Most of the bases of the building were original, but some of the stones have been replaced. Still, it was a pretty intense feeling to stand at the top of a temple, 140 feet high, look around the jungle and at the huge courtyard below, and imagine someone doing the same thing thousands of years ago. We took like 500 pictures and then Eddie took us to a local spot for lunch. Rice and beans, tostadas, and cow foot soup. Seriously. That last part was Eddies meal.

Next. Same day... The Big Rock Falls. We didn't realize we were gonna be driving nearly an hour into the mountains on dirt roads in a little 90's jeep something. But, it was surprisingly relaxing and the views were great. We got to the falls, hiked for a bit, & jumped off the first jump. It was maybe 15 ft high, and then climbed the slippery rocks to the waterfall. This is where I almost died. I decided i wanted to jump off the next jump. 25 ft. That's not the scary part. I should have know not to follow the way Eddie climbed to the top. He is half monkey. I got stuck. Halfway. Scared to death. It was big slipper boulders wet from being at the edge of a waterfall... Not jagged edges you can grab. I wanted down but was told there was no way to get down at that point. I don't get scared easily, but I really thought I was going to fall and crack my head open. I wish I could say that after jumping in, and being able to sit under a beautiful waterfall in the middle of the Mayan Mountains made it worth it, but my arms and legs were definitely still shaking when we got out of the water.

Side story: we 4 girls like Tequila. It's kind of like our unspoken vacation drink. So how funny was it that when we got back to our clothes, Eddie had a friend there who owned a bar and had brought a bottle of patron with him and his girlfriend to the falls. Duh, we had to. We also happened upon frank copolas resort and private air strip on the drive up. There was a plane on this random dirt air strip and we decided we just had to stop and take a picture with it. Of course, somehow our timing was absolutely perfect and the owners come driving up while we are posing. They chat with us for a while and wanted a picture... They had just flown in for lunch. Tough life.

Main event: our tree house hotel. When we first arrived, it was dark and after a very strenuous day. We were led (by flashlight) through the trail to our room. There really are 2 literal treehouse rooms built into a giant tree, but we had a little cabin with a king bed and a roll away. We are all good friends and clearly it's cheaper that way. It was tiny. I mean room for all of us and our bags was pushing it. Annnnd we then realized there was a bathroom, outside. 2 thatched hut buildings with a toilet stall, a shower stall, and 2 sinks outside. Annnnnd bugs. Our room and the bathroom both had places where bugs could come and go freely. Samantha (the prepared one health wise... 1st aid kit present, and local diseases researched) was pretty convince one of us was going to get malaria. It was all part of the experience though, as was waking up with open windows to what sounded like a soundtrack used on those soothing sleep sounds cd. Birds, a little rain on our tin roof, and sounds of the rainforest and river right beside us. It truly felt like a different world. Which it certainly is compared to what most of us are used to. After that morning experience, and the good coffee served in the main building, the shared bathroom became just fine by us... And how many people can say they stayed in a place like that?! I can tell you one thing, if any man accuses any of us of being high maintenance... We can bring up having no A/C, having to use outhouses, and walk through mud trails in the jungle to shower. Not to mention not wearing make up for 5 days... And going on a trip with just a backpack. Okkkkkkk.

Main event: Tikal

We were supposed to book our flights for the next day after Xunantinich and the falls... But, once we talked about it... We ended up deciding we were so close to Tikal, Guatamala that we just had to go. The trip just didn't feel over yet. So instead of booking out flight home, we booked transportation and the trip to Tikal. Up by 7 am again, we started the trip... Maybe 45 min to the border, and another 2 hrs after we crossed. Guatemala was interesting. I had no idea it was so big and had 14 million residents. Compared to Belize's 350,000. Belize actually is the size of 1 of Guatamala's 9 departments (like out states). We pick up our Kitut and arrival at Tikal just in time to watch a telenovela being filmed.

Tikal is phenomenal. It's a UNISEC world heritage site, and considered a runner up to Machu Pichu for ancient ruin cities to visit. The most awe inspiring moment for me was when I found out only 1% of the ruins have been excavated. It took us 3 hours to walk around 1% of a city. You see mounds and hills everywhere covered by the rainforest, and to think that under every one of those hills and mounds is a building is amazing. It's still a pretty dense area and you can't see every building clearly like Xunantinich, but once you climb (or run up as we did) the 1827811 stairs to the top of the highest building, you can see the tops of 3 other buildings sticking up above the treetops.

Kitut (Luis) brings a whole new level of interesting to the experience. He told us a little about the ancient city of Tikal of course, which was home to estimated millions of people, but once we started asking questions and he realized we weren't a group of dumb blondes only there for the pictures, he introduced an insight into the Mayan culture. He, along with our other guides Carlos and Eddie, are of Mayan decent as well as Roman Catholic. Kitut opened my eyes to a completely new world. I was raised in a small town in the Bible Belt, so it was very new to hear facts about the similarities in all religions from around the world, and the Mayan beliefs. We discussed how he can be Catholic and follow Mayan beliefs (which I won't get into), but his view on the earth and human life in general were intriguing and very selfless. Things are simple to him. If you cut down a tree, then you should plant a new tree to maintain the earth for future generations. If you trip over something, you better consider what it is you're doing wrong and fix it... That was your sign. If you get a bad feeling, follow your intuition. Everyone and everything has an energy, thats what causes attraction. We are gardeners by nature, we are meant to live off of and take care of the land. We learned about what Americans deemed 'the end of the world' on the Mayan calendar. Which according to Luis, is really just a rebirth of society into a time of rediscovering and appreciating the earth, and a generation of technologically educated youth who will put knowledge to good use. I can't explain anything the way this man did tho. The dates he spit out, the statistics he rattled off like it was nothing, and examples and activities he gave us to experience our own energy blew my mind. I wish i had recorded all of it, it was way too much to take it all at once and really impossible for me to explain. The Mayans calendars and concept of time is only so many seconds off, while our current is a few more seconds off. They predicted every eclipse for 4000 years, and built reservoir systems in cities like Tikal where there is no water access nearby. They constructed buildings that have stood for 1,000-2,000 years, and their farming system still proves to be efficient. Their architecture was so advanced that in a building with halls the length of a football field, you can whisper and hear the person at the other end of the hall... Still to this day. They have buildings designed to align & project specific shadows on temples and buildings to signify time for harvest. Everything was calculated perfectly in a time with no calculators or computers. Their buildings still stand! What will we be leaving behind for 2000 years from now?

Clearly I can't wait to visit the next city & learn more.

As impressed as i was with the excursions that we were lucky enough to do, I was double that by the people. It's a 3rd world country where they called a house that I'd consider a little below average a mansion... But you sure wouldn't know that the vast majority people have nothing by their attitudes. By far the kindest and overall happiest people I have met. Every day we met someone new who went out of their way to help us and show kindness. Frank our first hotels maintenance man was, '114% good'... With a huge smile on his face every time you ran into him. Leroi the excursion guy was called, 'the happy man'. Carlos was going to come by the hotel just to say hi after we finished our excursions with his brother. Kitut telling me to 'relax and just enjoy everything... There is no real need to ever rush', when I was apologizing to him for us being slow. Max, our San Ignacio guy who set up Tikals excursion, found out we were running late that morning & took it upon himself to check us into our very last minute hotel for our added night. He even took our bags up for us. Nothing missing, no issues. He also gave us an unbelievable deal to get us to the airport the next day so we didn't have to take public buses.... And that's not all, even insisted on treating us to a pancake breakfast before his brother drove us. Although i know it help us out by being 4 pretty girls and not your average tourists, I'd imagine all of them would act the same to anyone who came to their town.

It made me take a long look at myself, and my culture. Carlos had never even heard of Facebook.... We couldn't believe it! Even my parents keep up with me through social media. It's sad that they have to. It's sad that when they honked once at each other as a hello, and we all thought it meant otherwise. It's sad that I don't have the same mentality to try and maintain the earth as Luis, and I wish I had the pride they all did. I know this is a super long post, but I wanted to share how amazing the people and places were in Belize. I hope I was able to portray the admiration I felt traveling around and spending full days with the locals and the nature. I will end this crazy long story with a quote that Carlos said he read and has always stuck with him... And me now...

'When was the last time you did something for the first time?'

Buenos Aires Adventures

Buenos Aires. 

Definitely not the smartest travel decision I've ever made. But, I really wanted to experience this city.

When I say 'experience' a city, I mean I love to travel to cities that I think have a 'feel' to them. I love history, and picturing what could have happened in an exact spot hundreds of years before. I love places with a liveliness, somewhere that makes you feel a spark or you recognize that the people feel alive. & I love good food and local beer/wine, & totally indulging in a new cultures culinary take on each.

Ohhhhh Buenos Aires did not disappoint.

We started our 'experiencing' on a free tour of the city and heard a lot about the history and the past aristocratic families. Please note I said FREE. An amazing 3 hour walking tour, that was given just by tips and word of mouth advertising. The city is a total mod podge of palaces of aristocratic families (who literally brought their palace materials by boat from France) and new buildings. Side by side, all throughout the city... not just the Centro or city center. The entire area we toured, from San Martin Plaza to Recoleta and Palermo where we stayed, all had this lovely ambiance. There is a cemetery in Recoleta, an area of old money, that holds the caskets of the wealthy, famous, or aristocratic families of Buenos Aires. I cant even fathom the money spend on the final resting places of these people and entire families. Only a picture will explain how intricate and detailed this 'mini city' of graves/mausoleums is.

One of my favorite parts of the tour was of the statue of San Martin.  This is the person who declared Argentinas independence in the early 1800s. He did this by crossing the Andes mountains, gathering troops in Chile, and eventually defeating the Spanish. We were informed that this crossing of the Andes mountain was done on a mule and with the help of the Chilean people because the Argentinians thought his idea was crazy. However, his statue is a portrayal of him on a majestic white horse. And he is beloved for declaring Argentinas independence.  This is just an example of the dramatics of the people in this country. 

I loved it. As I mentioned, I enjoy liveliness in a vacation destination. There is no shortage in buenos aires. The dramatic pick up attempts of the men stands out in particular.

Ladies, hear me now! If you ever need a confidence boost, GO TO ARGENTINA!

I just need to list a few examples to make you understand. Twice men reached down and brushed the ground off as my girlfriend and I were about to walk past. The line, 'I am going to directly kiss you, in front of everyone, and then I will live happily' was used.  In pitiful English a young boy says, 'hi! I love you, I love you soo!'.  Actually we were told multiple times that men were in love with us, in passing of course. One poor man would 'die if he could not live as my 'Ken''.  It was absolutely histerical. Not to mention our server, a very sweet and funny guy offered us free neck massages with our lunch.

I can't talk about the liveliness of Buenos Aires without mentioning the nightlife. I understand it's like this in other parts of the world as well, but it was my first experience napping until 10pm and then getting ready to go to *dinner*. We also watched the sun come up after going out to a club. Not so crazy you may say.... except I feel like we were the first people to leave the club! At sunrise!  Dinner restaurants didn't open til 8-9 pm and most didn't close til 1-2 or 4am. This city came to life at 11pm, it was awesome to experience!  For a short time. It also reminded me that I don't go clubbing til sunrise for a reason.  Sidenote: somehow we got scooted straight to the VIP area without speaking a lick of spanish... and after surveying the area of bottle service, yatzhee! A table of tall very pretty Argentinian men... and what do ya know, they were on the Argentinian basketball team! Language barrier be dang...hips don't need to speak Spanish, and I learned a few new moves from a 6'5 dark haired Argentinian basketball player. This was PG, sorry women. Well, maybe PG13. Tango, salsa, meringue, I don't have a dang clue... but it was a blast!

Now we get to the culture. Everyone (for the most part) was smiling and pleasant, willing to help, and seemed to be in no real hurry. It's always refreshing to get out of the United States and witness firsthand that money and 'the grind' doesn't necessarily make you happy. Time well spent does. I loved that there were cafes on every corner. And ya know what?! At every one of them there were people enjoying a friends company, reading a paper, or a book. NOT glued to their cell phones. It was refreshing enough to not have service and be glued to my own.

The culinary scene.. 1. Ahhhh the steak!!!! I dont eat a lot of meat in my daily diet. I love a good steak on occasion, but that's usually it. If I lived in Argentina, I would eat steak for 3 meals everyday. We went to a steakhouse La Cabrera,  that served our massive meal with like 10 mini side dishes/sauces for the steak. 

Amazing. Seriously, I'm kinda mad I didn't go back a 2nd time.  Don't get me wrong, I had steak for almost every dinner, but that one meal.... I'll never forget it. (Told you I like food).  The wine. Here's a spoiler, we reallllly didn't like it.  Shenna and I are both red wine fans. A smooth pinot noir would be my favorite, but I definitely have appreciated Malbecs before. I don't know what was up, we sent back our first bottle (first time either of us have everrrrr done that) bc it tasted almost carbonated. We thought it must have just been that bottle, so we purchased a couple more (recommended at a wine store ),middle class expensive... and no. Didn't like it, same issue. Maybe we've never had 'real' Malbec before then. They had a great Stout Patagonia & local beers though. The rest of the food was great as well... cafe and pastries for breakfast, ham and cheese sandwich of some form for lunches (or empanadas if we found them) & great dinners (at midnight)...

San Telmo, Caminito St, and El Boca... these are the areas you're supposed to go to get a feel for the real Argentina. I felt it... tango dancers on corners in El boca, bright multi-colored unique houses, & local crafts. We saw all of this and thought it was cool. Then we went to the Sunday market in San Telmo... 10 blocks of craft tables lining the streets,  traffic is shut down, and people are drinking 40s for their Sunday funday. People playing drums on street corners, & dancing where ever the music is.  Then we came upon our first tango experience. It appeared as though a couple of people brought their computer, a microphone, and speaker and decided to turn the park into a tango show. Really really good dancers started it off, but by the time we came back it was nearly a block wide. People of all tango talents out having a blast as the sun went down.  That's when we knew we had to have more tango. I wish I could say we took classes and learned how, but that would take this white girl a whole month.  We booked a dinner and tango show at the oldest tango house in the city for the next day. Which was awesome! 

I have to say usually when I travel,  with the exception of being roofied and getting a bruising a rib in the Dominican a couple of months ago,  I am very lucky. Things just come together perfectly and magical events fall out of the sky & into our lap. This trip marks the first where this didn't happen. Quite the opposite.  We booked our first hotel at the airport in houston when we found out we were making our flight. We arrived, and found out that its a hostel (not a problem), except it's freakin gross and the workers, who didn't speak english, tried to put us in the bunk bed room. We put our stuff in our dungeon with a full bed, and got the heck out. Everyone told us we could change money a lot of places on the blue market for a much better exchange rate.  Well, we couldn't find one place to exchange our money, we hadn't slept yet (came in on a redeye and couldn't sleep), & girl wanted coffee.  We finally talked a manager into exchanging it.

 Day 2 we left our dungeon and moved to a studio we booked on airbnb. It was nice! Rooftop view of the city, and a nice little patio. With the apartments there you have a fob card to enter the gate, then a key to open the lobby door, and a key to your apartment. Well day 2 we were walking home after strolling for miles around the city, we follow someone into the main gate, he opens the lobby door, then we get off on our 3rd floor and realize we are in the wrong apartment. The outside and lobby looked almost identical.  Problem here is that with all of the security precautions to get in, it's the same to get out. We literally got locked into the wrong apartment lobby for 45 min until someone came home and opened the gates. 2 blonde Americans literally just standing behind bars getting stared at by the pedestrian traffic.  Day 3. We spend an exhausting yet very interesting day at the Lujan Zoo. This zoo allows people to go into the cages of lions, tigers, lion cubs, elephants, camels, pretty much everything but the bear and monkeys cage. 

All of the animals were very 'sleepy'. It was pretty sad all in all.  So, we get home from the zoo, nap, & get ready for our first weekend dinner. We leave the house at *midnight* to go *eat* because that's what the locals do, when I realize I forgot my phone and turn around to unlock the door. The key literally got stuck in the lock. Wouldn't budge. So, we found the buildings maintenance man who had to go through the neighbors place, to hop balconies to open to door. He had to unscrew the entire handle and put it back on. We lock up and head on our merry way again and realize that he put the handle on upside down. yup, had to scale our neighbors balcony all over again. 

The last major incident caused us to cut the trip a day short... the flights were oversold with multiple people on standby ahead of us... for a week solid. Which is our own fault for picking a city with only one flight a day on one airline. But, i really wanted to 'experience' Buenos Aires. Honestly, the entire trip was challenging. We put it together as we went without speaking the language. Thank goodness Shenna can speak muy poquito.

So, as I write this I am about 30 min from touchdown in Houston via Frankfurt, Germany. Yes, we had to fly 13 hours on a redeye to Frankfurt. Then we rushed to catch an 11 hr flight to Houston. Now I am hoping to run through customs to narrowly make a flight to Dallas and sleep in my own bed.  I have slept mayyyyybe 1.5 hrs in the last 30 hrs of flying, and I'm still in the same clothes. But, somewhere in there I'm really thankful for this experience, I always appreciate an adventure :).

I nearly lost my right eyeball once... No, seriously.

I just realized that the story to come is my one and only trip to the ER.

It happened around 2 am one morning years and years ago.  I was in highschool, Junior year I believe.  At that age, I thought it was super romantic to lay under the stars with my crush. (who am I kidding, I still think looking at the stars is romantic). 

It wasn't just me and my crush though, it was me and my best friends, Catie and Suzanne, and their crushes too.  So, here we all are.... laying under the stars on a blanket in the backyard. Obviously, we weren't supposed to have boys over at 2 am which presented a dilemma later on.  But it was very PG... just 6 little lovebirds star gazing.  Until, my eyeball started to itch.

Just my right eyeball. I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I just kept scratching it and not making a big deal when It felt ummmm, funny.  Finally, I could feel my eyeball actually swelling. Like no longer fitting in my eyelid comfortably, swelling. I asked my cutie patootie to shine his cell phone in my eye to see if he could find something in it.  I really wasn't asking for a kiss or anything... I was legit getting freaked out.  He couldn't see anything, and after another few minutes we decided we had better go inside and investigate.

Now, I'm not in the medical profession, but to this day I find what happened hard to believe. I've never heard of it happening to anyone else, ever.  By this time, the white of my right eyeball was swollen.  Big time swollen.  The look on my boo's face was enough to make me realize it was in fact, not normal.  So, we interrupted the romance and called everyone in.  Catie made the executive decision to fess up to having boys over and wake up her mom.  She freaked out when she saw me too...  The scary part was that after eye drops, and whatever else we tried, the white of my eye continued to swell.  It got so big that I could actually SEE the white part of my freaking eyeball with that same eyes pupil and It was getting to where I couldn't really close my eyelid.  So I called my mother at 2 am and told her that I was going to the ER before my eyeball exploded and she met us at the hospital.

A shot in the ass of benedryl or something, and it immediately went down to normal size.  I must have had a piece of grass or something I was allergic to in my eye. Then mom drove us to Krystals, and we were home by 4 am. 

I do have an appreciation for pirates, but I am glad I don't have to wear an eye patch for the rest of my life.  Appppppparently, your eyeball can actually burst and you can go blind, and mine would have if I hadn't gone to the ER when I did. That is per the ER Doctor.  Medical field friends, feel free to chime in.  I would love to hear if this has happened to anyone else, or if once again, it's one of those things that ONLY happens to me. 

Now tell me that's not the most random thing you've heard all day...

My First Pedicure. Yikes.

This is an old story, but it's my mothers favorite... So I figured its good enough to be shared. No kidding- 7 years later, she still asks me to tell it to people occasionally.


I would guess there are maybe like 5 places in my hometown in TN who even offer manicures/pedicures, so it really wasn't any big deal to me that I'd never had a pedicure when I got to college. I knew it was a form of pampering though. So when basketball season ended my freshman year, my roommate and I decided that after all the blisters, ingrown toenails, & calacysts, (TMI?) we sure deserved a pedicure. And sure needed one too.

Ok so...  get the picture -never had a pedicure before, broke college kids... In a new city... Without anyone to recommend a nail salon. Too young to even think to ask someone to recommend a salon.

We got out the phone book. Oh yea, it was back in the day when phone books were still used, and looked up beauty schools. Smart us, we found the most frugal way to pamper ourselves possible. We didn't have anything to compare it to though, so we didn't care. Score, there was a career beauty college nearby!

We head out one saturday, pull up, and realize it was in fact a bit ghetto (Chattanooga people- it was in a strip mall in east brainard). We walked in and were immediately caught off guard by staring hair stylists and customers. I would imagine they didn't have white girls in there very often... We were def the only ones that day... And not to brag, but we make an entrance anywhere we go. I'm 6' tall, and my roommate 6'4. One of the stylists asked what we would like done, when we said a pedicure, she literally screamed for someone who emerged from some back room. He lead us through the salon, past the wig area, and into a space best described as a closet/work space. He then unfolds a metal chair, puts his utensils out on the table, bring a tub of NYC (99 cent a bottle) crusty nail polish for us to pick out a color... tells us very excitedly that we are his first ever pedicures, and then leaves to get the 'jacuzzi tub.'


Yea. My roommate and I look at each other and immediately start discussing how the hell we were going to get out of the barber shop without letting some dude rub and file our feet. She is sending out txts to people to try and get them to call with an emergency when he comes back in with a plug in the wall $20 foot jacuzzi tub that they sell at Walmart.


I was in the chair, and panicked to figure out how to get out of this horrific situation that was unfolding.

I did the only thing I could think of. 'Sir, how much is this?'

 He responded with something super cheap I'm sure. I can't remember now... Probably like $20 each. I then lied and told him, 'oh no, we were told they were only $5 here...'(Keep in mind -i had no idea pedicures are normally $5 a toe) 'We don't have enough money and will have to come back.' It was the only thing I could come up with that sounded halfway realistic or so I thought. This guy was so excited I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

It was like a domino effect. He was all, 'WHHAT?! Someone told you a pedicure was $5?! Who told you a pedicure was $5?! $5 pedicure... That's crazy. Etc etc etc... '

'HEY Y'ALL, SOMEONE TOLD DEZ GIRLS DA PEDICURE WAS $5!!!'

That was it. As we were exiting the broom closet at the back, walking past the wigs, and into the loooooong room of the chairs and hair dryers full of stylists and customers... The barber shop erupted into fits of 'ohhhh nooooo they didn't' 'girls who told you a pedicure was $5?' 'Ha a $5 pedicure... I can't believe that, can you believe that?' On and on and on and on.

I was mortified. After what seemed like 5 min of making excuses, trying not to turn bright red, and holding myself back from running to the exit.... We finally made out way to the door promising to come back with enough money.

Obviously we never returned to the foot bath, metal fold out chair, broom closet, and 3 year old nail polish to let that poor barber do his first beauty college pedicure.
Instead, we went to a nail place where I couldn't understand the Chinese lady and ended up with flowers painted on my big toes.

My first 'professional' pedicure was my only professional pedicure for a long while... I'm sure you understand why.

Online Dating & A Cross-Country Plane Ticket

It's hard to draw the line between being romantic and just being dumb.

I have a story about being dumb. It involves online dating, a plane ticket, & false advertising.

Let me preface this story with a short story. The only time I have flown anywhere to spend a weekend with a boy, 1. We had met 2 1/2 years earlier. 2. I was moving to FL, only 2 hours away from him & 3. We had been talking for years, had met up in Orlando once, and had discussed a relationship.

 So, I thought I was being romantic by visiting him for a weekend. After all, he had been offering to pay for half my ticket for a year or so & there was definite potential with him. This guy was physically like my dream man... Surfer boy, 6'6 with blond hair, a college wide receiver with washboard abs& a strong jawline. So I really shouldn't have been surprised by what happened, but unfortunately i was. This is getting pretty personal, but when I didn't sleep with him the first day, literally the first few hours of the first day, he was visibly not very happy. He was still nice and even took me on a sweet moonlit walk holding hands on the beach the 2nd night, but didn't touch me again and I never heard from him again after I landed back in TN. He even defriended me on Facebook. Not that i would have wanted to pursue something serious with him after that, but really?! After years of making effort to keep up with each other, & all the talk on his part about 'us' and the 'what ifs', that's what it boiled down to.  How romantic, right?  I was dumb, but now I know. Additionally, I dont think the length of time you take to get to know someone will make a difference when it actually comes down to making a relationship happen anymore...

So,
That brings me to my more recent cross country errr 'relationship.'

I have a girlfriend on match.com. I went with her on a date for moral support, & her date brought friends too. Um, her date was super attractive, had a great career, and a really nice guy. The total package. Obviously, I joined match.com the next week. Well, that experience deserves another blog post all of its own... & not necessarily a bad one mind you. But, I got quite a few random emails, a couple of good ones, plenty from older creepers, and then one day... I had an email from a girl.  Missed red flag #1.

I played women's basketball... Lesbians don't scare me. But, this was weird. So I opened it and it said, yada yada yada, 'I have a guy friend who is moving to Miami for his job, & he was looking through my profile, came across yours, & is totally smitten. He played professional baseball, is 32, 6', has a good career, & is a great guy. Can I set you guys up?'

Duh, I like tall athletic men with great careers who have normal seeming friends who try and help them out. So, I give her my email address to give him. A couple of days later I get a cute little email from my 'from match, but not really from match' guy

what ever happened to old fashion dating? haha - I hope my friend

Jamie had good things to say about me on match? haha

- Sometimes though a little help is needed. My name is Sammy

(*picture removed per Sammy's request -he found my blog?)

 Despite being a mirror pic, I thought he was cute. His emails were witty and made me laugh... So after we exchanged a few, he asked for my # & I passed it along. We had also became Facebook friends, and despite the fact that every picture of him was posted by him  (he can't be tagged by others), I still thought he was attractive. Red flag missed #2.

So, we exchange texts and he kept mentioning how he can't wait to meet me, etc etc. I would just say, well I'm sure ill have a layover in LA soon (He lives in LA). After a couple of months of texts every few days or so... I still hadn't had a layover. He becomes a little more forward and asked if it would be ok if he flies out to meet me, that 'he doesn't want one of the online dudes to sweep me off my feet before he gets a chance to.' How can a girl say no to that, haha... I told him if he wanted to book a flight, and a hotel for at least the first night, then he could fly down... Sure. I was pretty flattered, & even a little excited to meet this guy. A couple of days later he told me he booked his flight. We talked on the phone, he seemed normal, his Facebook pictures were fun, his texts cute and witty. The only part I was kinda confused over was how he kept talking about having a fiesta, (missed red flag #3), like multiple times he mentioned it. I totally didn't get it, and one time he casually mentioned he was Mexican. Ok whatever, a 6' athletic super cute Mexican. I'm not racist, I was just confused mainly because he didn't look Mexican at all & he kept talking about props for a fiesta theme party.

Seriously... he text me this pic among others of fiesta props?

 He even forewarned me that he just knew we were going to hit it  off bc he had stalked me on facebook,and liked what he saw. Missed red flag #4.  He also asked if I would be ready for a relationship if he fell hard for me. So all this time I'm very leery, but kinda excited about the possibility of romance.

Let me just cut to the chase. He last min came in a day early to visit his company's office in Miami, so by the time he drove to Fort Lauderdale to meet me the next day, I was on the beach with 2 girlfriends. Thank God. This man walks up and I know I was whispering under my breath, 'that's not him... There is no way that's him.' My 6' ex pro baseball player walked very feminine and well, he was Mexican. I'm not racist at all. But, he absolutely did not look the same in person compared to ANY of his pictures... Bright Red & unable to miss FLAGS 5-8. But, whatever... He was there, & I was still going to give it a shot. Until he opened his mouth. He talked super, I mean super feminine. Or maybe it was what he was saying that left that impression. He volunteered that he 'woke up at his hotel and did sunrise yoga, then had a spa day with a mud bath.' My 2 girlfriends who met him swear they think he was gay.


The flag was then thrown. I am gonna go ahead and put this in writing. I will never date a man who wakes up and does sunrise yoga followed by a spa day and mud bath all by himself. I like a manly man. Period.

Yes I am a bitch and I took a candid of him.

(*picture removed per Sammy's request -he found my blog?

And that's when I knew it was over before it began. I entertained him though and we were nice, but when he asked about booking the boat tour we had discussed and a couple of other things, I just told him we would figure it out. And I reiterated the fact that he was a stranger essentially and I still wasn't sure I was comfortable with him staying at my house when he asked about crashing on my couch again. Generally speaking, i found him weird, and my friends were already coming up with excuses for me to get rid of him before i even asked. So, he left the beach and had to drive back to Miami for dinner with people from his office there. I sent a text and told him that I thought it was rude to have such misleading pictures, he couldn't stay at my house because I could picture waking up to him staring at me in the middle of the night, and that I really questioned if he liked men.

Jk. ;)  I apologized for possibly ruining his weekend, told him that it was nice to meet him, but that it really just wasn't there for me. I never heard another word from him. I took a chance, but it certainly didn't result in romance of any sort. I really am fairly convinced that if I would have let him stay at my house I may have woken up with him watching me sleep or something.  He was not just 'LA guy' different, he was weird.

A few days later,  that girlfriend that's on match who also happened to have met Sam, called me to tell me that she thought he had 'liked' one of her pictures on there. Apparently HE was on there too?! The more I thought about the entire situation, the more irritated it made me. For multiple reasons...

1. I later realized he wore sunglasses in most of his photos and if he didn't, it was edited. Fact... This is false advertising, & for a good reason.

2. He did not, in fact, technically play major league baseball, he played AA baseball. Close, but not quite... and not that it matters really, but it's again false advertising. He said he had played for Tampa Bay.

3. The fact that he was going to use me to stay for free while he met potential coworkers/explored his potential new city with me as a chauffeur .

4. The simple fact that I almost wasted a very rare weekend off in town entertaining him, well and that I missed/ignored 1297 red flags.

5. Let me be egotistical for a minute. The fact that he thought he had a chance.

6. Maybe the biggest reason.... he had a spa day... By himself. And bragged to 3 girls about it. Then has to tell us, umm I'm not gay. Fact: I will never date a gay that goes to the spa more than me. Or half as much as me. Or ever, without me?

7.  He was on match.com? Maybe after he had his friend email me, but the fact is... it's questionable.

8. The fact that once again, I was trying to entertain a romantic thought, & ended up just being dumb. BUT, you never know until you try! One of these days I wont be writing a funny blog about a bad experience.

By the way. I cancelled my match.com subscription last week.