I have a story about being dumb. It involves online dating, a plane ticket, & false advertising.
Let me preface this story with a short story. The only time I have flown anywhere to spend a weekend with a boy, 1. We had met 2 1/2 years earlier. 2. I was moving to FL, only 2 hours away from him & 3. We had been talking for years, had met up in Orlando once, and had discussed a relationship.
So, I thought I was being romantic by visiting him for a weekend. After all, he had been offering to pay for half my ticket for a year or so & there was definite potential with him. This guy was physically like my dream man... Surfer boy, 6'6 with blond hair, a college wide receiver with washboard abs& a strong jawline. So I really shouldn't have been surprised by what happened, but unfortunately i was. This is getting pretty personal, but when I didn't sleep with him the first day, literally the first few hours of the first day, he was visibly not very happy. He was still nice and even took me on a sweet moonlit walk holding hands on the beach the 2nd night, but didn't touch me again and I never heard from him again after I landed back in TN. He even defriended me on Facebook. Not that i would have wanted to pursue something serious with him after that, but really?! After years of making effort to keep up with each other, & all the talk on his part about 'us' and the 'what ifs', that's what it boiled down to. How romantic, right? I was dumb, but now I know. Additionally, I dont think the length of time you take to get to know someone will make a difference when it actually comes down to making a relationship happen anymore...
So,
That brings me to my more recent cross country errr 'relationship.'
I have a girlfriend on match.com. I went with her on a date for moral support, & her date brought friends too. Um, her date was super attractive, had a great career, and a really nice guy. The total package. Obviously, I joined match.com the next week. Well, that experience deserves another blog post all of its own... & not necessarily a bad one mind you. But, I got quite a few random emails, a couple of good ones, plenty from older creepers, and then one day... I had an email from a girl. Missed red flag #1.
I played women's basketball... Lesbians don't scare me. But, this was weird. So I opened it and it said, yada yada yada, 'I have a guy friend who is moving to Miami for his job, & he was looking through my profile, came across yours, & is totally smitten. He played professional baseball, is 32, 6', has a good career, & is a great guy. Can I set you guys up?'
Duh, I like tall athletic men with great careers who have normal seeming friends who try and help them out. So, I give her my email address to give him. A couple of days later I get a cute little email from my 'from match, but not really from match' guy
what ever happened to old fashion dating? haha - I hope my friend
Jamie had good things to say about me on match? haha
- Sometimes though a little help is needed. My name is Sammy
(*picture removed per Sammy's request -he found my blog?)
Despite being a mirror pic, I thought he was cute. His emails were witty and made me laugh... So after we exchanged a few, he asked for my # & I passed it along. We had also became Facebook friends, and despite the fact that every picture of him was posted by him (he can't be tagged by others), I still thought he was attractive. Red flag missed #2.
So, we exchange texts and he kept mentioning how he can't wait to meet me, etc etc. I would just say, well I'm sure ill have a layover in LA soon (He lives in LA). After a couple of months of texts every few days or so... I still hadn't had a layover. He becomes a little more forward and asked if it would be ok if he flies out to meet me, that 'he doesn't want one of the online dudes to sweep me off my feet before he gets a chance to.' How can a girl say no to that, haha... I told him if he wanted to book a flight, and a hotel for at least the first night, then he could fly down... Sure. I was pretty flattered, & even a little excited to meet this guy. A couple of days later he told me he booked his flight. We talked on the phone, he seemed normal, his Facebook pictures were fun, his texts cute and witty. The only part I was kinda confused over was how he kept talking about having a fiesta, (missed red flag #3), like multiple times he mentioned it. I totally didn't get it, and one time he casually mentioned he was Mexican. Ok whatever, a 6' athletic super cute Mexican. I'm not racist, I was just confused mainly because he didn't look Mexican at all & he kept talking about props for a fiesta theme party.
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| Seriously... he text me this pic among others of fiesta props? |
Let me just cut to the chase. He last min came in a day early to visit his company's office in Miami, so by the time he drove to Fort Lauderdale to meet me the next day, I was on the beach with 2 girlfriends. Thank God. This man walks up and I know I was whispering under my breath, 'that's not him... There is no way that's him.' My 6' ex pro baseball player walked very feminine and well, he was Mexican. I'm not racist at all. But, he absolutely did not look the same in person compared to ANY of his pictures... Bright Red & unable to miss FLAGS 5-8. But, whatever... He was there, & I was still going to give it a shot. Until he opened his mouth. He talked super, I mean super feminine. Or maybe it was what he was saying that left that impression. He volunteered that he 'woke up at his hotel and did sunrise yoga, then had a spa day with a mud bath.' My 2 girlfriends who met him swear they think he was gay.
The flag was then thrown. I am gonna go ahead and put this in writing. I will never date a man who wakes up and does sunrise yoga followed by a spa day and mud bath all by himself. I like a manly man. Period.
| Yes I am a bitch and I took a candid of him. |
And that's when I knew it was over before it began. I entertained him though and we were nice, but when he asked about booking the boat tour we had discussed and a couple of other things, I just told him we would figure it out. And I reiterated the fact that he was a stranger essentially and I still wasn't sure I was comfortable with him staying at my house when he asked about crashing on my couch again. Generally speaking, i found him weird, and my friends were already coming up with excuses for me to get rid of him before i even asked. So, he left the beach and had to drive back to Miami for dinner with people from his office there. I sent a text and told him that I thought it was rude to have such misleading pictures, he couldn't stay at my house because I could picture waking up to him staring at me in the middle of the night, and that I really questioned if he liked men.
Jk. ;) I apologized for possibly ruining his weekend, told him that it was nice to meet him, but that it really just wasn't there for me. I never heard another word from him. I took a chance, but it certainly didn't result in romance of any sort. I really am fairly convinced that if I would have let him stay at my house I may have woken up with him watching me sleep or something. He was not just 'LA guy' different, he was weird.
A few days later, that girlfriend that's on match who also happened to have met Sam, called me to tell me that she thought he had 'liked' one of her pictures on there. Apparently HE was on there too?! The more I thought about the entire situation, the more irritated it made me. For multiple reasons...
1. I later realized he wore sunglasses in most of his photos and if he didn't, it was edited. Fact... This is false advertising, & for a good reason.
2. He did not, in fact, technically play major league baseball, he played AA baseball. Close, but not quite... and not that it matters really, but it's again false advertising. He said he had played for Tampa Bay.
3. The fact that he was going to use me to stay for free while he met potential coworkers/explored his potential new city with me as a chauffeur .
4. The simple fact that I almost wasted a very rare weekend off in town entertaining him, well and that I missed/ignored 1297 red flags.
5. Let me be egotistical for a minute. The fact that he thought he had a chance.
6. Maybe the biggest reason.... he had a spa day... By himself. And bragged to 3 girls about it. Then has to tell us, umm I'm not gay. Fact: I will never date a gay that goes to the spa more than me. Or half as much as me. Or ever, without me?
7. He was on match.com? Maybe after he had his friend email me, but the fact is... it's questionable.
8. The fact that once again, I was trying to entertain a romantic thought, & ended up just being dumb. BUT, you never know until you try! One of these days I wont be writing a funny blog about a bad experience.
By the way. I cancelled my match.com subscription last week.
